Trailer Reviews: August 14th

District 9

Plot: A sci-fi movie where alien visitors to Earth have been pushed into alien ghettos in South Africa.

Preliminary Thoughts: The involvement of Peter Jackson (who has directed such famous sci-fi films as Bad Taste and Dead Alive), makes me very interested in this film.

Trailer:

It has a sort of Children of Men feel, but I'm not sure if it's really exciting enough for an action movie.

Ponyo

Plot: Hayao Miyazaki's latest U.S. release focuses on a 5 year old boy and a goldfish princess and their crazy adventures.

Preliminary Thoughts: I've liked many of Miyazaki's other movies, so I can only assume this will be good too. However, with the voices of Miley Cyrus's sister and the Bonus Jonas, I have a feeling that I may want to wait for the dvd so I can just watch it with subtitles (although by doing that I would miss out on Tina Fey).

Trailer:

Wow, this is the cutest thing ever! For serious. I think Tina Fey needs more of my money.

Bandslam

Plot: Some teens form a band and enter a battle of the bands. But two of these teens are Disney stars.

Preliminary Thoughts: This is going to suck more than anything has ever sucked ever, and I'm only talking about the trailer.

Trailer:

It's like Almost Famous, but way worse. "SA5M," but the 5 is silent. Wow. Poor Lisa Kudrow. Remember when she was in Romy & Michelle? Poor Lisa Kudrow.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Plot: A romance about a man who travels in time spontaneously for some reason and the woman he keeps leaving behind.

Preliminary Thoughts: As someone who loves time travel, I'm interested. As someone who's never seen The Notebook, I'm skeptical.

Trailer:

I still don't know what to think. It's sweet, but it looks depressing too.

Paper Heart

Plot: Charlyne Yi's sort of documentary thing about love.

Preliminary Thoughts: The idea is kind of cute, but I feel like it's going to be too twee.

Trailer:

It's too twee and kind of pretentious-looking if I have to judge by just the trailer. And I really hope that the little girl who thinks Applebees is romantic isn't the funniest part of the movie.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Plot: Used car salesman is hired by a failing dealership to try and make more profits and to prevent Ed Helms from taking over.

Preliminary Thoughts; This is going to be bad for many reasons, two of which are the title (which sounds like a porno if I'm being honest) and its star Jeremy Piven, who is about as likeable as a piece of shit dressed as Adolf Hitler.

Trailer:

Poor Ed Helms, not only is he in this stinker of a picture his hair looks awful. It's ok Ed, we all know you've got to work.

It Might Get Loud

Plot: A documentary on the electric guitar featuring Jack White, The Edge and Jimmy Page.

Preliminary Thoughts: I like music as much as anyone, but I think this may be a very esoteric movie that will only appeal to a very specific community that I am not really apart of.

Trailer:

It looks cute and fun, but there are definitely going to be moments that only guitar nerds will appreciate.

Spread

Plot: Ashton Kutcher plays some kind of cougar hunter.

Preliminary Thoughts: DO NOT WANT

Trailer:

I can't believe I sat through that. Remember what I said about Jeremy Piven? Well Ashton Kutcher is less likeable than that. He is about as likeable a monkey on cocaine who is also your housesitter. And the monkey has brought monkey guests who are also on cocaine.

Grace

Plot: After miscarrying her child, a woman insists on carrying the baby to term for some reason. When the child is delivered, it returns to life, but has an appetite for human blood.

Preliminary Thoughts: This plot is sort of Teeth meets Rosemary's Baby. It sounds interesting enough.

Trailer:

It's probably quite scary, but the trailer has made me less interested. The premise is interesting, but I'm not sure if the film will be very good because the trailer was kind of boring.

So if I'm going to recommend anything, it's going to be Ponyo because it appears to be the only sure thing.